How To Blow Your Political Career By Joe Biden

Step 1: Say Some Crypto Racist Stuff

“I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy,” he said. “I mean, that’s a storybook, man.” Joe Biden.

For those white people who haven't figured this out yet, we black folks hate hate HATE to be called articulate. That isn't a compliment. Its a downright insult. It presumes that when you see a black person that can speak proper English that you are amazed. And don't get mad, because Obama agrees with me. Further, I can think of many many African-American mainstream politicians who were "bright and clean" before Obama came along. What the hell does clean mean? Frankly, I'm sick of all these white politicians (including a certain someone) who call Obama "bright and articulate." Would you ever ever say this about a white politician? Can you imagine such a statement not being condescending?

Geez Joe. Well the guy is from a slave state as he so happily points out so maybe he's just trying to hone in his inner Southern racist. Oh wait..45-55% of the Democratic voters in SC are black. I'm sure this one will go over real well. At least Joe will always have the Indian-Americans at the 7-11 or Dunkin Donuts. Right?

Step 2: As a Democrat, Campaign to the Republican Base

So, you want to appeal to black Southern Democrats in South Carolina. What do you do? I got an idea! How's about you give the eulogy of Republican Senator Strom Thurmond! (yes, his fellow slave stater). Not only that, but you go before the very white and very Republican Rotary Club meeting in South Carolina bragging how you can work with them and reminding them (again) how Delaware was a slave state.

Step 3: Insult Virtually Every Democrat Likely To Nominate You To Anything in 2009

Though racism and campaigning to Republicans (as a Democrat) may hurt one's career, nothing symbolizes a major death kneel like insulting the top three Democrats likely to win the Democratic nomination. That's what our boy did. Not only did he call John Edwards, basically, a moron, but he called Barack Obama a fluffy black token, and said Hillary was not electable. Thanks Joe! While all of these may or may not be true to varying degrees, if your goal is to be Secretary of State, this is not the way to do it. This is really going to wow em in the primaries and will ensure that if any of these three get elected, they'll appoint him to something..or another (I'm guessing the "other" will be Wayne County Dogcatcher).